July 18, 2011

Transformers: Dark of the... something not necessarily the Moon

Ok any and everyone that knows me, knows that I am a Transformer fan.  Being a child of the 80s basically meant that I had some of them in my collection of toys & action figures (note: I still have some of them, wish I still had a few others) and watched the cartoons RELIGIOUSLY!!!
So when it came time to hear about the new Live Action films, of course I wasn’t gonna miss em!!
So as time went by I watched the first one.  It was fun for what it was.  Second one wasn’t all that great, but still interesting nonetheless.
So now we get to the final movie in the series.  I get a chance to watch it, and after it was over, I was hyped and enjoyed it… but for some reason, my Spider-Sense (note: Marvel/Disney please don’t come after me for using that) was tingling something fierce.  It was like my mind was telling me that somehow, somewhere, I had seen this all before.
I paid it no mind and moved on.  So, over this past weekend, I did a marathon of the original G1 Transformers cartoons, and that’s when it hit me like a Plastic Surgeon to a Kardashian.
I HAD seen the third movie before. 

Ok, so Transformers: Dark of the Moon is the third and final installment of the Live Action Transformers movies.  The whole story behind it is that Sentinel Prime has been found in stasis on the moon and was reawakened by Optimus Prime.  Well it turns out that Sentinel holds the power to create a space bridge powerful enough to bring Cybertron to Earth.  So Sentinel betrays the Autobots and aligns with the Decepticons to get the job done.  I mean Sentinel was so BEAST in this that he even punked Megatron…. and NO ONE punks Megatron.  EVER!!!
*End Spoilers.  Ok you can read again*

Ok, so you got that?  Good.  Store that in your memory banks for a few minutes.  So now, let’s take a trip back in the TARDIS to 1984/1985.  In Season One of OG Transformers, there was a three episode mini-series that was done called: The Ultimate Doom. *insert scary music sound clip here*
Here’s the synopsis: "The Ultimate Doom" is a three-part episode in the first season of the original Transformers cartoon series. In it, Megatron pulls Cybertron into Earth's atmosphere, which plays havoc on the ecosystem and causes a slew of natural disasters.

There you have it folks!!!!!  The Third Transformers Movie is a bad rehashing of a G1 mini-series!  Of course, if they were to actually do up the story from this, it could’ve been done way better.  And yes this does include Megatron getting punked… because when have you ever seen OD Megatron get turned into a whipping boy by anyone??  Yeah he’s taken some beat downs, but to get seriously Gimped like that???  NEVER!!!
Now I’m sure these episodes are online somewhere in the vastness of the Interwebs, so I’m sure you can do a judgment call for yourself and see.  If not, I’ll post em up if I can find them.

So ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have submitted to you evidence showing that the “writers” of the third Transformers Movie have basically gone into Teletrann-One and snuck out files from the database to make it seems like this is a brand new storyline.
I leave the verdict in your hands.  I rest my case.

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